This morning, I came across a post written by Bronnie Ware who worked in palliative care for many years.  It is a post that I think everyone should read:

Top Five Regrets of the Dying

To sum it up, the top five regrets are:

• I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
• I wish I didn’t work so hard
• I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings
• I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
• I wish that I had let myself be happier

In the last weeks before my dad passed away, we reflected back a bit on his life.  One of the big highlights was a trip we took to Hawaii.  That trip was a result of a casual conversation in the spring of 2008.  “If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?” I asked him.  He had always wanted to visit Pearl Harbor.

“So what’s stopping you?” I asked.

Oh, someday I’ll go, he said.  Dad served two years in World War II and he wanted to see the place that altered the course of his life as a teen.  We continued to talk about our “someday” dreams.  Then I stopped and looked at him.  “This ‘someday’ you’re talking about,  really, what’s stopping you?” I wanted to know.  “Why don’t you plan a trip? You’re not getting any younger and someday you might not be able to move around,” I joked.

And then I got serious. “And this ‘someday’ might not happen if you wait around for it too long.”

“Ok, fine, you plan it, then!” he smiled.  The next thing he knew, I booked airline tickets to Hawaii and my sister arranged for a hotel.  A few weeks later, we were on a plane to Hawaii. We spent the first two days at Pearl Harbor.  Dad was filled with war stories and he really opened up.  My mom, my sister and I– we soaked it all in.  We knew how important this trip was to him. We went to the Dole Plantation where we feasted on pineapple ice cream, rode the train and walked in a glorious garden with amazing flowers.  We took a boat ride on the other side of Oahu, where we saw a whale.  We took a sunset cruise on a cloudy night, but for a few glorious moments, the clouds parted and we captured the most amazing sunset.

And days before he fell into a coma from the cancer, we talked about that trip to Hawaii.  The memories were sweet ones. “Thank God we did that trip,” I said. “I’m glad we didn’t put it off for ‘someday.’”

 

There’s a little ditty that I came across awhile back and the author is unknown.  The words are profound:

First, I was dying to finish my high school and start college.
And then I was dying to finish college and start working.

Then I was dying to marry and have children.
And then I was dying for my children to grow old enough so I could go back to work.

But then I was dying to retire.
And now I am dying…

And suddenly I realized…
I forgot to live.

So let me ask you, what are you putting off for “someday?”  When are you going to start living?

 

 

 

 

 

Tags: Inspirational Stuff by DeafMom
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“You have to read The Passion Test,” said my friend, Stephen Hopson last year. Stephen is a transformational speaker who is also deaf and he’s a dear friend of mine. I was a little hesitant about ordering yet another book, because I had promised the hubby not to add any more books to the piles around the house.  But there I was, sitting in front of the computer, trusting the recommendation of my friend and ordering Janet and Chris Attwood’s book.

A year later, what can I say… The Passion Test, along with Aspire by Kevin Hall,  and the Yes to Success workshop with Debra Poneman changed my life.  I created a vision board and vision list.   “When you are clear, what you want will show up in your life, and only to the extent that you are clear,” I learned from The Passion Test. There were specific things that I wanted to accomplish and I wrote them all down.  I knew the order of my passions. The list was a long one, but I didn’t hold back.   Between the books and the workshop, life was going in a whole new direction. “Passions are about process. Goals are about outcomes,” Janet and Chris wrote. People who have witnessed the change in my life the last year and half have remarked that I seem to always be having fun.  But that’s exactly what life is about– having fun, enjoying it to the fullest and being happy in the process.  And when life lines up with your passions and your purpose, then it is indeed filled with lots of joy.

Whenever you are faced with a choice, a decision, or an opportunity, choose in favor of your passions.

“Meet Janet Attwood,” was on my vision list, and last night, I spent a magical two hours in the company of Janet Attwood as she shared her journey that lead to the book and her amazing life. Earlier in the week, I had an interpreter lined up along with a back up interpreter.  Both ended up not being able to attend. At the last minute, I made countless calls to try and locate another interpreter.  I resigned myself to a night of lipreading, but as it turned out, Janet was so easy to understand that I was able to sit back and enjoy the evening.

Tomorrow, I’ll be heading to Chicago to soak in another day with Janet.  This workshop is hosted by Positive Focus Productions.  Janet will focus on:

• How to discover your top five passions
• The one secret that guarantees a passionate life
• The three keys to creating anything you choose to have in your life
• Learn how to live with less anxiety and fear
• Experience a deeper connection with the most important people in your life including yourself
• Experience a new sense of vigor and well-being

The Passion Test is featured in the November issue of Oprah’s O Magazine. Quite simply, it will change your life.

Following Your Bliss

 

Tags: Inspirational Stuff by DeafMom
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A year and half ago– March, 2010 — when I put my feet down on the water for the first time at the World Barefoot Center, I had no clue how much my life was going to change from that moment. That morning, I almost wanted to chicken out. I was nervous about being in a boat with people I didn’t know, I didn’t want to be seen in a bathing suit, and deep down, I was afraid to try– and fail. So when I woke up to a rainstorm that morning, I was secretly relieved. Maybe the whole thing would be canceled, I thought. I don’t know who answered the phone at the World Barefoot Center, but they reassured me that they could ski in all kinds of weather and that it was supposed to clear up.

Sure enough, the weather cleared up and I found myself in the boat with two-time World Barefoot Champion Keith St. Onge,  the world’s oldest female barefoot competitor Judy Myers and several others.  As I watched skier after skier do trick after trick on the water, I wanted to crawl out of the boat and head back home.  The flip-flop of nerves came up over and over again that afternoon at every step of the process.  I alternated between “I can do this!” and “I can’t do this!” Half of me was excited; the other half of me was wondering what the heck I was doing down in Florida with a bunch of people with talent way over my head.

Had I given into the nerves, I would have missed out on the most incredible life transformation that unfolded.  In a  year and half, I went from not being able to do a deep water start– to competing in four tournaments, complete with sponsors.

How many of us have missed opportunities in life because we give in to doubts, nerves or fear?

Last week, Judy said to me, “You have to pay your dues.” This remark came after I experienced some frustration at the lack of progress on the water after trying the same simple trick over and over (left one foot)– ending in crash after crash. If you want to accomplish something in life, you have to put in the time, effort, practice, work, sweat and toil, — and sometimes the only progress comes after years of experience– and putting in your dues over and over, until you reach that place of success. The key is to not give up in the process.

Last summer, I spent the entire summer trying to conquer a deep water start. I achieved one successful start in June and I triumphantly texted Judy about my accomplishment. “Backwards, here we come!” Judy texted back. (Backwards? Are you crazy?)

I thought I’d breeze through the rest of the summer. Instead, I was met with one failed start after another, the entire summer long. I became pretty skilled at riding on my butt, though.

Dave, my oldest son, pulled me through start after start, over and over. He consoled me when I dissolved in tears one night. “I can’t do this,” I told him. But he reassured me that tomorrow was another day and we’d try again. And sure enough, I accomplished it. But then I went right back to square one and rode my butt for weeks after that. One step forward, twenty steps back.

Yup, barefooting is a lot like life.

I sent my brother a picture of my first back toe hold. My brother is a former barefooter– he’s off the water now due to a cracked vertebrae (from falling off the dock, not barefooting– he also lost some hearing in a footin fall). “Wow!” he wrote. “I could never do that!”

Here’s the thing: I said the exact same thing when I watched other people doing toe holds on the water.  I remember watching Judy do a toe hold and thinking, Gosh that looks so hard. I could never do that!

And how much do we hold ourselves back in life by thinking in limits?

How many of us have looked at someone who is successful and wished for that same success… without understanding the journey that came before success? Before I could get that snapshot of a back toe hold, Keith stripped me back to basics. Backward on one foot. Backward with my foot in the air. Backward with my foot touching the rope. Backward with the foot on the rope and one hand in the air. And then I had to work on the dreaded left foot backwards. The result? Crash after crash into the water.  Then little by little, I worked my way toward  success.

Crashes are not failures… and stumbles in life are not failures… you learn from them. You learn what causes them– then you take a different course of action. And like Judy says, you pay your dues. You put the effort and time in to gain experience and little by little, you accomplish your goals and achieve success.

And speaking of crashes: A Whack on the Head.

Tags: Barefooting, Inspirational Stuff by DeafMom
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