A Deaf Mom Shares Her World » 2008

Embracing the Identity of Being Deaf and Hard of Hearing

When I was growing up, I wasn’t comfortable being hard of hearing. I hid my hearing aid under my hair and as soon as I arrived home from school, I tossed it on a ledge. I never touched the hearing aid during the summer. You’d almost never find me asserting myself by telling someone, “I’m hard of hearing, I need you to face me when you talk.” Only among close friends, would I have the courage to say, “What? Repeat that, would ya?”

So what happens when you’re not comfortable being deaf or hard of hearing? You hide it. You do everything possible to “fit in” and “look normal.” You develop an impressive arsenal of social bluffing skills. You nod along in conversation, figure out when to put in a thoughtful, “hmmm,” and ask questions that might lead you to a clue in the topic that is firing back and forth in a group.

When I became deaf at the age of nineteen, I changed in many ways. I learned American Sign Language and discovered many new deaf and hard of hearing friends for the first time in my life. Slowly, I tapered off the bluffing. I learned to take pride in being deaf, to be open about it, to rejoice in this whole journey. I can’t even begin to describe the differences. For one thing, you’d never catch me showing off my hearing aids on public television. Yes, those are my blue earmolds on ABC– aren’t they purty?

I love stories like this one: Social Bluffing, by Katie. In her post, Katie shares:

I have decided to be more honest with myself and with people I don’t know re: my hearing impairment. I’ve decided that it is perfectly OK to tell the cashier, the waitress or whomever I’m speaking to that I have a hearing impairment, and could they please talk slower and speak up for me?

and:

In my experience, I’ve also discovered that when you are honest with people and tell them why they need to repeat what they said or word it differently for you, they are more than accommodating in the request. I am learning to give people more credit than I did in the past, which has allowed me a more positive view of the world.

In her guest post, Katie shares that she recently began this journey of becoming hard of hearing just a few years ago. So taking the action to assert herself is part of the path of learning to become comfortable about being hard of hearing and getting the communication access that is needed. Little by little, confidence comes from taking baby steps and then one day, you find yourself asserting your communication needs with relative ease.

Just the other day, I received this comment sent via the contact me form on this blog. I received permission to share it here:

Hi there Karen

I am Elias and I am 34yo from way down under

All my life i was in denial of my impairment and sort of closed myself from the deaf community. It wasn’t until a personal crisis that forced me to take a deep look inside myself.

I looked up on the internet for inspiration and help and i came across Stephen Hopson and it was what i needed. I was amazed to learn he is a pilot and motiovational speaker. The more i read about his life the more inspired i became. He woke me up so much and realised that I can do more for myself. I realise i finally knew what i wanted to do for myself and the world.

Then i came across your blog and for the past few months i read as many as i can from your blogs. All i can say is wow.

I wish to say a big thank you for showing me that it is okay to be deaf. I found your blog through Stephen
When i decided to check out your blog, i was amazed by your life experiences. Thank you for showing me that it’s okay to be deaf.

I plan to enter the world of Blogging hopefully soon.

Again thank you!

Elias

Thank you, Elias, for sharing your journey with me. I look forward to reading about your venture into the blogging world.

You’re right, Elias, it’s ok to be deaf.

Bookmark me!

More »

Tags: Uncategorized by DeafMom
9 Comments »

Kids At Camp–Mom is Partying!

Yes, those are my kids at left. Aren’t they just adorable? I sent them all off to camp this week. Of course, they’re a lot older than they look in the photo.

Last night, the hubby and I broke out the Blackberry wine from St. Julian’s Winery and we watched TV in bed, sipping the fruity stuff.

We didn’t even have to lock the door!

This is the fourth year my kids have gone off to the Lions Camp. It’s only the second time for my youngest son. The Lions Camp is generously funded by the Lions of Illinois Foundation. Every year, my kids look forward to their week at camp. They come home with reams of pictures and stories about their fellow campers. All of the campers are deaf or hard of hearing, and for some of them, it is the first time they’ve used American Sign Language or hung around other deaf and hard of hearing kids.

This is the second full day that I get to blast my John Denver music without someone complaining that it is interferring with their TV program. The second day that I don’t have to order someone to pick up a half-filled glass and an empty wrapper. There’s no one around to holler at. Clean your room! Empty the dishwasher! Take the dog for a walk! Stop body-slamming your brother to the floor!

I have lots of good intentions of getting work done this week. The house also needs a serious cleaning and I’m working on an e-book. I expect my readers to hold me accountable to this. At the end of the week, be sure to ask me if my house is clean and if I’ve written 5,000 words.

However, as much fun as I’m having dancing around the house without someone snickering at me, I realize that this is a taste of life to come. Haven’t I said that before? This house is gonna be too empty without kids.

So, kids, go have fun at camp this week and Mom is gonna do the same. But when you come back on Saturday, it’ll be back to the grind!

”Hang up your wet towel! How many times do I have to tell you that the maid doesn’t live here?”

Bookmark me!

More »

Tags: Raising Deaf/HH Kids by DeafMom
9 Comments »

Thinking of Breaking Up? You Might Get Sued

I was chatting with a friend this morning and she asked, “Did you hear about the lady who sued her fiance for dumping her and won $150,000?”

Holy Moly!

I went on to read another news article about it:

Jilted Bride Awarded $150,000 after Wedding Called Off

Jilted Bride Calls $150,000 Settlement ‘Justice’

I have mixed feelings about this lawsuit. On one hand, life is messy. Feelings change. Relationships can change from one day to the next. People get cold feet about marriage all the time. Does this lawsuit now mean that jilted others can sue left and right for “breaches of promises?”

The gal’s attorney, Linda Sartain, believes the case will change the way people look at engagements:

Sartain also told Vieira that she hopes the case sets a precedent that an engagement can be a binding contract: “When you give your word to do something and you cause people to rely on it to their detriment, then you may be held accountable for any damages that you cause.”

However, on the other hand, I can understand the gal’s reason for the lawsuit– she gave up her life and moved to be near her fiance–and gave up a job with a nice income. In the article, she says that her fiance never intended to marry her.

Now this makes me think of a guy that I know who plays with people’s feelings on the internet all the time. He makes up all kinds of stories, telling women that he loves them and wants to marry them. He leads them to believe that he’s very sincere and he plays with several women at the same time.

So if this gal’s pal is like the sneaky guy I know–then I’d say she deserves even more money from the guy.

Bookmark me!