A Deaf Mom Shares Her World » 2007

A Brief Moment of Wishing… for Hearing

On Monday, I attended Austin’s birth with my friend Beth and her husband. During the twelve hours of labor, various nurses, the doctor and family members came in and out of the room.

For a couple of moments throughout the day, I briefly wished I could hear.

Don’t get me wrong. I feel quite comfortable with myself and I’m assertive enough to ask people to repeat what is being said. So it’s not a matter of accepting that I’m deaf. I was comfortable enough to feel that I didn’t need an interpreter.

However, there are always situations that come up where asking to repeat things can’t happen. For example, one of the husband’s friends came into the room and a lot of conversation was flowing. I couldn’t join in, since it was moving far too fast for me. A new nurse would come in every couple of hours and I would have to get used to lipreading a different person all day long. Those are the kinds of situations that deaf and hard of hearing people face on a daily basis and frequently get left out of, because there’s no polite way to join in the conversation and comprehend everything that’s being said.

I’ve attended two of Beth’s births previously and felt quite comfortable supporting her. We’ve been friends for fourteen years. When it came time to push, I was on one side holding one leg, the hubby was on the other side. Pushing was moving alone routinely.

In the middle of Austin’s birth, all hell broke loose. The doctor called a code and suddenly the room filled with doctors and nurses. I, of course, couldn’t hear what was going on. Beth’s husband mouthed the words, “They’re calling for a cesarean!” Austin was stuck.

For several frightening minutes, there was a lot of yelling. I saw the doctor go in with both hands, and I knew instinctively that there was little time to spare. A nurse jumped on top of Beth and applied pressure. I knew those were emergency measures and something inside of me made me lean over Beth and urge her to push.

“Beth, push!”

And somewhere during the moments of praying, watching, and holding my breath, a thought suddenly popped into my mind.

I wish I could hear what everyone is saying.

The thought quickly disappeared as the events unfolded. Austin was brought to the baby warmer and for several heart-wrenching minutes, we didn’t know if he was going to make it. It took a few minutes to get him breathing and he pinked up.

It wasn’t until today that I reflected back on all that had happened and about that thought that had popped in to my head.

Why in the world, in the middle of all that was happening, did I wish that I could hear?

The more I thought about it, the more I realized why: when I urged Beth to push, I was operating on instinct. There was no way for me to hear the doctor’s instructions.

What if I was wrong? What if pushing at that moment was not the right thing to do.

What if my lack of hearing and understanding had hurt my friend?

So it had me wondering about deaf and hard of hearing doctors and nurses– there are several of them around the U.S.– how do they handle emergency situations when a code is called?

Stay tuned as I find out more.

Bookmark me!

More »

Tags: Uncategorized by admin
16 Comments »

It’s a…

It’s a boy! A big boy! Austin arrived weighing 11 pounds, 12 ounces.

It was a scary birth though after twelve hours of uneventful labor. At one point, the doc called for a cesarean (the baby’s head was showing but not progressing) and tried to push the baby back in. Quickly changed his mind and with several pushes, Austin came out with the cord compressed near his head and shoulders.

Mom and baby are doing fine today.

Bookmark me!

More »

Tags: Uncategorized by admin
2 Comments »

A Baby Coming Up!

Tomorrow is going to be an exciting day. My friend Beth is heading to the hospital to have her fifth baby. Tomorrow’s birth will be the fourth birth we’ve shared together. Beth attended my daughter’s birth and I’ve attended two of her son’s births.

For a couple of years, I entertained the idea of becoming a professional doula. My third child was born at home and his homebirth sparked the idea that I wanted to help support moms during birth. I started the process of becoming a childbirth educator and began studying for certification.

I’ve been fortunate to be able to share in several births with a few friends. When my friend Sue gave birth to her third child, it was one of the toughest births for her. Katie arrived faced up. She gave her mom a rough time in labor, but she’s one of the sweetest kids you’ve ever met.

My friend Cathy gave birth to a tiny little girl– Caitlin was just one pound thirteen ounces. I arrived at the hospital just in time to see them wheeling her out of the room in an incubator. Today, Caitlin is in first grade and smart as a whip.

The one birth that I will always remember vividly is M’s birth. M and I met online. We chatted online frequently and got together with our kids. Her two children were born via cesarean and M was planning a homebirth. She invited me to support her at her daughter’s birth.

I was in Michigan when I got the call that labor started. I jumped in the car and got to her house in record time. She labored on and off all night. By morning, she was starting to vocalize more and become uncomfortable. I urged her to step in the tub for some relief and her husband called the midwife. I looked down and realized that the baby had moved down quite a bit. “The baby’s moving down,” I said.

“No, not yet,” she replied.

About a half hour later, I knew that the baby was going to arrive soon, with or without a midwife. I looked at her husband and asked him, “Are you ready to catch?”

At that moment, the midwife walked in. She grabbed some gloves and with a couple of strong pushes, M’s baby arrived in the water.

Ah, birth– there’s nothing like the arrival of a new little one into the world.

I can’t wait for tomorrow!

Bookmark me!